Mannequin

1987's answer to "can we make a comedy, but not make it funny?"

1987's answer to "can we make a comedy, but not make it funny?"

It's been a long time (and a lot of bad movies) between reviews, but I was inspired last night after watching 1987's offering, Mannequin.
Within the first few minutes of a white blonde American english-speaking ancient Egyptian travelling through time to find love into a animated opening sequence, I knew I was in for something special.

Basically some guy is an 'artist' being creatively satisfied making store mannequins to perfection, but after creating what he considers to be a masterpiece he is fired. He then pursues a montage worth of new and mismatched jobs which he is fired fro one by one for being too artistic, then his girlfriend dumps him, then his motorbike breaks down, in the rain, but before getting too upset - he spots his perfect mannequin in a store window!

Now I'll be honest, I kinda started zoning out so I don't know how but next thing he's working at that store with a fabulous fashion merchandiser setting up the store window display each night with the mannequin, but she can come to life when he's alone with her...? So the God's have granted her an escape from her arranged marriage in ancient Egypt and given her a chance at love by being trapped in a mannequin body in 1987 with some guy who's a dud on a job trial. Cool.

On top of adding what felt like a new character every scene and a bunch of story plot incidents that didn't really have enough reasoning, his window displays are a success, as is his budding romance with the magical mannequin that only he knows comes to life! Throw in a few song and dance montages around the store making outfit changes that are a tad anachronistic for a woman who was apparently from 3000BC but hey, lets not let that get in the way of a "great" story!

Because every movie needs a musical montage.

A rival store manager wants him to do their store window display, and they try and steal the mannequin, or something like that, blah blah and at the end she comes to life in front of everyone (which she couldn't have done during an awkward sex scene where he would have pretty much been literally naked and humping a store dummy?) and then they kiss and live presumably happily ever after!

The shit in this movie is some real 80's caviar, mixed with a side of absolutely crap plot direction. Bonus points if you can make it through without making a Sex And The City joke.

2 thumbs sideways!

Mac and Me

Mac and Me

1988's 'Mac And Me' fullfilled the promise of being one of the "worst films ever made", as well as being a complete rip-off of E.T The Extra Terrestrial, and apparently a thinly veiled advertisement for McDonalds restaurant and Coca-Cola. Going in, I was anticipating cheesy dialogue, and lots of product placements. What I wasn't ready for was terrifying gross mute alien puppet things that were just nightmare material, even as a fully grown adult watching it now.