Mac and me (1988) - 9 out of 19
1988's 'Mac And Me' fullfilled the promise of being one of the "worst films ever made", as well as being a complete rip-off of E.T The Extra Terrestrial, and apparently a thinly veiled advertisement for McDonalds restaurant and Coca-Cola. Going in, I was anticipating cheesy dialogue, and lots of product placements. What I wasn't ready for was terrifying gross mute alien puppet things that were just nightmare material, even as a fully grown adult watching in 2016.
Case in point, the opening scene:
Once the aliens have been introduced for what feels like far too long, we then have an opening sequence about the human protagonist and his family moving to a new town, blah blah, wholesome American basis. So far there has already been a few product placements for Coca-Cola and not a lot of anything grabbing my interest.
At this point I decided that it was too ugly and too boring and started watching it in fast forward, since the dialogue wasn't cheesy enough to keep me entertained. Moving faster, it becomes more entertaining as I see the alien guy (who I can only assume must be the "Mac" from the title) drinking a shitload of Coke, then they dress him in a teddy bear outfit for some reason and take him to McDonalds.
This is where I thought I'd take it off fast forward to see what this advertising was like, and was treated to a lengthy choreographed song and dance number in the restaurant, complete with Ronald McDonald, dancing alien in a bear suit, and backflips. Was it worth watching for? Not really.
Back to fast forward and what I can basically summarise is that much like E.T., some secret agents are after the alien. Cue a bunch of kids trying to save it and escaping, not on bicycles, but using the protagonists WHEELCHAIR of all things, complete with alien wrapped up like an invalid, through a car chase in a neighbourhood so similar to E.T that I almost wonder if they use some of it as stoc
Somehow the alien leads them to his dying parents in a cave somewhere, and they bring them back to life by drinking cans of Coke (??), then go to a supermarket to steal some Coke and end up in a siege with officers ending in a big fire that the aliens walk out of unharmed in some freaky Terminator style shit.
Seriously I have no idea what happens except the next scene is the aliens in a court room in clothes pretending to be freakin people, cause i didn't think they could look any creepier but what do you know. Then they drive off in a convertible in a very Full House opening sequence, and yeah. Thats it. 90 minutes of your life you'll never get back.